Publisher: Union Square & Co.
Page Count: 240 pages
Publication Date: April 11, 2023
PRAISE FOR SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS:
“Gachman perceptively puts words to the uncomfortable realities of loss…and deconstructs its social myths, helping readers feel less alone. Those facing loss will find solace here.” —Publishers Weekly
“So Sorry for Your Loss is a monument to the work of remembering and a testament to the immutable love of family and the grief that forever changes us.” —Lauren Hough, New York Times bestselling author of Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing
“So Sorry for Your Loss is a meditation on loss that reminds us how to go on living.” —Deirdre Fagan, author of Find a Place for Me and The Grief Eaters
This book wrecked me and affirmed me all at the same time. The first is self-explanatory and expected given the title and subject matter. The second is surprising and what made me appreciate “So Sorry For Your Loss” and Ms. Gachman’s writing of it even more.
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Grief does not discriminate.”
Going in, I knew I was going to be emotional reading this book. Many years ago, my dad died after a long illness. Three months later, my husband and I had to make the devastating decision to say goodbye to our beloved pet Baldr, a German Shepherd/Siberian Husky mix we considered our first baby. To say I could relate to the author with her consecutive losses of loved ones is an extreme understatement. While our circumstances were vastly different, the common denominator of grief connecting us was enormous.
Between her sharing of her personal experiences and her extensive research on the subject, Ms. Gachman articulated eloquently what I was feeling at the time but haven’t been able to put into words. The pain that was actually physical, the holding on to objects to retain continuing bonds, the internal conflict between trying to keep it together and the temptation to fall apart, the need to talk, the search for a community that understands the same or similar loss — these were all defined and expounded on in this book. These for me were affirmations that my expression of grief, my prolonged mourning, was valid, perhaps even universal.
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Despite our best intentions and loftiest goals, there is one outcome that is 100 percent guaranteed in romance and in life. Each one of us will, at some point, take our last breath.”
The inevitability of my mom and my parents-in-law passing on is always at the back of my mind. In some ways, I’ll be prepared for the grief that is to come, having gone through it before with my dad. This book helps as well. It has been educational as much as it has been evocative. The sections about hospice care and stages of grief have been eye-opening for me. When the time comes, I will likely reread and look up my forty-three annotations, especially those welcome bursts of humor (Plutarch! Tinder! Dolly!) that balanced the heavy weight of the subject of grief.
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Huge thanks to the author’s publicity team for providing me with a review copy through Edelweiss and to Lone Star Lit for allowing me to share my thoughts on this absolute gift of a book.
All around us, older women flourish in industry, entertainment, and politics. Do they know something that we don’t, or are we all just trying to figure it out? For so many of us, our hearts and minds still feel that we are twenty-something young women who can take on the world. But in our bodies, the flexibility and strength that were once taken for granted are far from how we remember them. Every day we have to rise above the creaky joints and achy knees to earn the opportunity of moving through the world with a modicum of grace.
Aptly titled, A Delightful Little Book on Aging lays out a joyful, thoughtful, easily applicable approach to handling the advancing years with dignity, grace, and gratitude. Ms. Raffelock wrote with so much wisdom, authority, and charm, I found myself highlighting numerous passages that resonated with me. By the time I finished reading, nearly the entire inside of the book was covered in light green color (I chose a highlighter that matched the cover) .
Of all the advice, these stood out for me:
Stephanie Raffelock is the author of A Delightful Little Book on Aging (She Writes Press, April 2020). A graduate of Naropa University’s program in Writing and Poetics, she has penned articles for numerous publications, including the Aspen Times, the Rogue Valley Messenger, Nexus Magazine, Omaha Lifestyles, Care2.com, and SixtyandMe.com. Stephanie is part of the positive-aging movement, which encourages viewing age as a beautiful and noble passage, the fruition of years that birth wisdom and deep gratitude for all of life. She’s a recent transplant to Austin, Texas, where she enjoys life with her husband, Dean, and their Labrador retriever, Jeter (yes, named after the great Yankee shortstop).
Alcoholism and domestic abuse creep silently into people’s lives, shattering dreams. For Pamela Lombana, the excitement of marriage turned into paralyzing fear as alcohol became her husband’s best friend. Surviving the daily physical and emotional abuse was the norm for her and their children. Full Circle tells the story of how love and God’s abiding grace helped Pamela find the strength to leave her husband, Fernando. During this journey, healing and forgiveness allowed her and the children to be there for him when he needed them the most.
I like that the author balanced the heavy and serious accounts of helplessness and depression with light and uplifting anecdotes about the children and their adjustment to moving and living with limited resources. I also appreciate her acknowledgment of the people who’d helped her escape and supported her throughout her struggles. Readers of this book who recognize similar situations in their friends and family could learn how to assist the victims in making the changes they need to break away from the chains that bind them to an abuser.
As a little girl growing up during the Civil War, Katharine Lee Bates grew up to become a poet, professor, and social activist. She not only wrote “America the Beautiful” but gave this anthem to America as a gift. A member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and a suffragist who stood up for a woman’s right to vote and lived to cast her ballot in presidential elections, Katharine believed in the power of words to make a difference. In “America the Beautiful,” her vision of the nation as a great family, united from sea to shining sea, continues to uplift and inspire us all.
Touching on major events that happened during the lifetime of Miss Bates, from the Civil War to Lincoln Assassination to women’s suffrage, this book teaches history to children in a way that appeals as well as informs. My son was particularly shocked upon learning that there was a time when women didn’t have the right to vote. His reaction made me think that girls would be inspired by Miss Bates even more and all kids who read this would seek to follow in her footsteps in speaking up for women and the poor, and advocating for peace in the US and the world.
Nancy Churnin is the award-winning author of eight picture book biographies with a ninth due in 2021.
Maida Malby 
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